Those People are Aliens. Obviously.
I've read the evidence. Turns out that people who place new rolls of toilet paper on the holder with the paper rolling under, instead of over the roll toward the user, are in fact aliens.
A case-control study published in the Journal of Toileting and Extraterrestrial Activity showed several alien-associated behaviors seen in the toilet-paper-under (TPU) population, as compared to the toilet-paper-over (TPO) population.
TPUs are more likely to:
- have an overt avoidance of placing new toilet rolls on the toilet paper holders (though this data is not very specific, as most children and spouses are guilty of the same behvior.)
- leave the toilet roll with a single square of leftover tissue
- consume random socks, hence causing the "lone sock in the laundry" phenomenon
- be constipated for days-weeks at a time in an effort to avoid the toileting situation (induced by lone sock ingestion)
"On our planet, we defecate upside down. It's a sticky business. But from our perspective, we're placing the toilet paper over, and humans are screwing up the process constantly. It's incredibly annoying."
That is all.
Thank you to Anna Staniszewski for the FB post that inspired this report!
AND CONGRATS TO KRISPY FOR WINNING AN ARC OF SANCTUM by SARAH FINE!