Friday, October 29, 2010

Having a La La La La moment


Do you avoid confrontation?

I'm really, really good at that. I've created a life of non-confrontation. There are times I'd rather plug my fingers in my ears and screech, "La La La La" than face something difficult.

I have noticed I do this with my characters, too. I'm too nice. I don't want them to suffer. But sometimes, for the sake of the story, I need to drag them to hell and back.

In writing and life, do you prefer to La La La La or do you throw down your gauntlet and just go for it?

42 comments:

Maria Zannini said...

I go for it, but if it's giving me a hard time, it's usually because I haven't made the stakes high enough.

I have to have a reason to confront. :)

Candyland said...

I HATE confrontation too! I think I put my characters through more than they should though to make up for my lack of it in real life!

Renae said...

I don't like confrontation either. I do put my characters through their fair share of it though! What can I say I love to torment them.

Christine Danek said...

I don't like confrontation in my real life, but I love writing confrontation. I love putting my characters through hell. I know I'm mean. I find it fun almost theraputic.
Have a great weekend!

Piedmont Writer said...

I am definitely a lalalala person. Until you push me too far. Then I'm in your face.

My characters on the other hand are generally stronger than I am. They'll confront a raging bull with a red flag.

That's why I write. To turn other people into what I wish I could be.

The Golden Eagle said...

I'll go for confrontation if I think it's worth it enough. But for things that are more trivial I'll just let them pass without comment.

B.E. Sanderson said...

Ah, my favorite defense mechanism - avoidance. (Followed closely by escape.) Even when I have to confront somebody about something I'm such a wuss about it. Bleh. But that's life. In writing, I don't think about it. If my characters need confrontation, I write it. Maybe it's the same for me as for other commenters - I push my characters into situations I'd run from because it's cathartic.

lbdiamond said...

Lalalala...wait, what? ;)-

I did keep things safe in earlier novels, but I think I'm learning how to put my characters through the ringer. Makes writing more fun, too!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I definitely put my characters through hell, maybe way too much. Ah, but where's the fun if you don't. ;)

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss lydia! my mom said its ok to be lalala like a nice lily til you get backed up way into a corner then you gotta be grrrrr like a tiger. for my characters i like getting them in trouble cause then they gotta go grrrr and get out of it.
...hugs from lenny

Meredith said...

I am the queen of avoiding confrontation! I need to learn to put my characters in tough situations, but it's so very distressing :)

Bossy Betty said...

Avoidance in real life. OH yes!!! Gotta get better at that....

Indigo said...

In writing the gauntlet.

In life I hate arguing. Paul gets irritated because I won't look at him if we're having a disagreement. Unfair advantage on my part since I'm deaf - I can't hear him and if I'm not looking at him I have effectively shut him out.

I'm getting better at not doing that...sometimes...depends on if I'm right or not (winks). (Hugs)Indigo

Yat-Yee said...

I hate confrontations. But I am exactly a lalalala person either. I just stew. Can you say bad for health, emotional and physical?

Carol Kilgore said...

In real life I'm VERY la, la, la....
In writing life, it takes me several drafts to lose the la, la, la. It's overwhelmingly present in the first one. Sigh.

Mat said...

I think I do this as well. I rationalize it by not having confrontation for confrontations sake. But when it comes down do it I'm a bit of a wuss. That's it I'm going to go put one of my characters through the ringer.

Thanks Lydia :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I force my characters to deal, but I tend to retreat. Usually to my office.

Colene Murphy said...

Go for it!!
If you aren't confrontational in life, you should def. do it in books. Live vicariously though them. It's fun!

Holly Ruggiero said...

I don’t like confrontations so if they are avoidable, I avoid. As for my characters it depends on what I need them to do, but of course eventually they have to confront something.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

I hate confrontation as well, but my characters are another story, lol.

Melissa said...

I love confrontation. Like, a lot. It actually caused a lot of problems when I was younger. I've learned now to chill out and not go for it but confrontation always made me feel alive. That being said, I can definitely be LALALAALAL with my characters because I love them too much. SIgh.

Elana Johnson said...

In real life, I prefer La la la la la la LA! It's something I've had to work on in my fiction as well. So you're not the only one.

Stephanie Thornton said...

My betas called me out on this. It's hard to do mean things to someone you really idolize. But it has to be done- now the poor girl has been run through the wringer!

Connie said...

I hate confrontation personally. But I don't have any problem letting my characters get into it--probably because I know that I'll rescue them eventually.

Krispy said...

I'm super non-confrontational. Apparently it totally goes against my personality; using the Enneagram personality types, I'm a 9, which is the Peacemaker (aka people who really hate confrontation). :P

I'm a little like that with my characters, especially the ones I really like. I think they're meaner to me than I am to them, which is problematic. I feel like I used to be a lot more ruthless, but now I'm a pushover. Don't know how this happened...

Mary said...

Real life may tend to be more La La La but characters (except children) are not granted that luxury.

Terri Tiffany said...

I'm most certainly not a lalalala kind of person;)

The Words Crafter said...

I love what Anne said, "That's why I write. To turn other people into what I wish I could be."

I hate confrontation, but lately, I've had to bite the bullet and do it. Nicely. Typically though, I wait until it's a blow out.

My characters, though? Bring it!

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

Ha ha you're funny! I always have la la la moments! I have no pity throwing my characters to the wolves. I find it pretty fun lol!

Walt M said...

I'm constantly biting my tongue to avoid confrontation. However, somtimes I can't keep my mouth shut long enough.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Lydia, I read on Anne's blog that we must be sadists where our characters are concerned. Constantly get them into trouble. I am going to follow that advice, though personally I belong to the LaLa land, I am going to move from there and become a nasty, evil and vicious sadist where my characters are concerned.

Francine said...

Hi,

Heaps of fun this post!

In a literary sense I'll let MCs blast off for awhile but usually the heroine does a runner and the hero's left mystified (gobsmacked)thinking "what in hell did I say".

In real life I can give as good as I get if I feel inclined and usually win, or I can completely blank-off and bide my time with: "Could you repeat that, I missed the first bit". ;)

best
F

Andrea Mack said...

I definitely try to avoid confrontation in real life (unless something really bothers me). But my books seem stumble all over themselves with all the obstacles that face my poor characters. I guess I'm putting it all on them.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Oh how I hate real life confrontation, but if somebody pushes me hard enough, they'll get an earful.
I seem to do better at creating it in writing, but maybe I'll try pushing it harder and see what happens. *goes stalking off to her manuscript*

The Red Angel said...

Oh, I am totally a La La La person, though I don't think that's exactly a good thing. :P Haha...whenever I encounter a problem with my plot or I can't think of something good enough to round off my character's day or my MC persists in arguing with me, I plug my ears and LA LA LA the whole time.

~TRA

http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com

Paul S said...

I'm definitely a LaLaLa person in real life too,I'll do anything I can to avoid a confrontation :)

Emy Shin said...

I am very much a La La La person, and tend to run in the opposite direction even before confrontation rears its head. It takes some effort, definitely, to be mean to my characters, but I'm getting better at it!

Claire Goverts said...

I like to avoid confrontation, I have a hard time with it. Even when there are times it would be better to say something I don't.

Though when it comes to my characters they are more likely to confront others than I am. Some of my characters are the la la la types while others are ready for whatever confrontations are needed.

And boo. (I'm stopping by via the Halloween Haunting) :)

Medeia Sharif said...

With writing it's the gauntlet.

In real life it's la-la all the way, but I'll have a confrontation if it's absolutely necessary.

Clarissa Draper said...

I've had to learn to throw down the gauntlet but it's not easy, in real life, I'm very la la la la.

CD

Jackee said...

Oh! I'm so a Lalalander too. I have to constantly remind myself, "What is the worst that can happen to them?" And force myself to do it.

Good luck, Lydia!

jewelknits said...

I get in trouble .. a lot .. I know that it's "better" to avoid confrontation, and that's usually my initial tack .. but if the person or situation is one that persists, I just can't help myself .. my mouth starts going before my brain can make it shut up!

Julie @ Knitting and Sundries

 
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